Apostrophe (')
by Hellfilly Deluxe
Summary: Nyx is curious about Luna's dream-walking job. Unable to actually show her, Luna decides to instead to describe a dream to Nyx and... Well...
1. The Yellow Snow Suite

**A/N: I hope you can guess what this based off of. 'Cause I don't. But, don't fret, there's a hint in the title. Written on my iPod.**

**'  
****A piece for assorted lunatics written by That Gamer!**

"Luna, can you show me how your dream walking thing works?" Nyx enquired, a pleadingly hopeful look on her face.

It was a lazy Tuesday afternoon. School had been closed for unknown reasons and Twilight, due to royal and Brony-related duties, was gone. Now, the rest of the Mane Six volunteered to watch Nyx, but Luna forced Twilight to pick her. Not wanting to upset somepony she didn't trust, Twilight hired Luna.

"What-eth about the Crusaders?" Luna asked back, leafing through a copy of _How I Daring Did: An Autobiography_. "We doth thought thou would be-eth with them."

"Nah... They don't want to play with me for some reason," Nyx explained with a heavy sigh. "I tried asking them when school was out, but they ran off before I could ask them anything."

"...Well, we cannot do-eth our dream walking now," Luna told Nyx, which prompted another sad sigh, "but we can tell-eth thou about a dream we once encountered."

Nyx gasped in excitement. "Really?!"

"Yes; of anypony you want," Luna, nodding, confirmed. "However, we shalt not reveal what this has to do with the pony personally, nor shall we dabble on anything too graphic."

Nyx thought hard and long about it for about three seconds before coming to a conclusion. "Mary Sue!" she exclaimed cheerfully.

"Mary Sue?" Luna was confused. "That black Alicorn OC from down-eth the street? Why her?"

"I dunno... I'm just curious," Nyx said. She shrugged and said, "Now tell me! Tell me!"

"Well, let me think..." Luna muttered. She took a few seconds to think about the dream. "We doth warn thou, it be-eth quite nonsensical. And, if thou shalt allow us to step outside of our Shakesperian manner of speaking for just a couple moments, allowing us to talk about the dream in the same way it would talk to-"

"Tell me!"

"Alright, alright... Here it goes." Luna took a deep breath and began...

Mary Sue sighed all content like to herself, stepping out into the frozen wasteland that was her home, instantly regretting it as frostbite groped the parts of Mary that weren't covered in parka, which was really her whole body. So M-rating.

"Nanook!" called Mary's mother, Self Insert, from inside her igloo. "No, no!"

_I'm not going to acknowledge her_, Mary thought, letting snow plaster up against her face.

"Don't be a naughty Eskimo!" Self Insert continued. "Save your money; don't go to the show!"

That's right, a few meters from Mary's igloo was, surprise of all surprises, a Wooden Tombstone show! Sadly, it was closed by a group of Brony guards claiming the reference was too meta, failing to realize that it was the OCs and not the actual people. But 'tis the nature of some creatures.

Well, Mary was going to have none of that. She turned and replied, with a vicious razor edge, cracking the nearby ice, "Ho Ho." And she proclaimed it again: "Ho Ho." And once more! She said: "Ho Ho."

And the Northern Gods, hearing this, decided she was worthy and had the Northern lights glow in her favour.

Obviously distressed by this, Ms. Sue shed a single. However, she still had some words of wisdom to spread about: "Watch out where the huskies to go!" she warned. "And don't you eat the yellow snow!" Not thinking Mary caught it the first time, she shouted once more, "Watch out where the huskies go! And don't you eat that yellow snow!"

Just about that time, wizard people, dear readers and assorted lunatics, a fur-trapper jumped up from behind Mary's igloo! It was none other then Fluttershy, having torn herself away from her trees and shed long enough to come other here and torment our heroine!

"Peekaboo!" Fluttershy cried in that way only a pony who was strictly from commercial could. She landed face-first on the ground and proceeded to ramble on about things she didn't know she was talking about.

However, that stopped quite quickly, Fluttershy deciding to instead start whipping on Mary's favourite baby seal, Gary! With a lead filled snowshoe! That rare kind you can only find if you can breathe easily enough. On his nose! And his fin! And his-

Sure enough, that sure got Mary peeved. So, in retaliation, she used MAGICK to reach down... To bend down... To scoop down a mitten-full (if she had been wearing any) of the deadly - wait for it - YELLOW SNOW! From right there where the huskies!

What was she going with such a weapon, you ask? Well I'll tell you! She was going to rub it in the face of Fluttershy, in a circular motion hither unknown to the ponies in this area and only used by Vikings in the earlier Tales generations, but destined to take the place of "Magical Mystery Cure" in your mythology- Here it goes! The fabulous circular motion! Here it is! RUB IT!

Unable to react to the blinding speed of Mary's magic, Fluttershy got a faceful of the deadly yellow snow! It was then when it started to get rubbed around and around in Fluttershy's face in the vigorous circular as mentioned before, creating a sort of guitar solo sound.

"Here Fido! HERE FIDO!" Mary laughed triumphantly, making the snow go even faster. But then, in a fit of anger, Mary stopped and pounced on Fluttershy, snapping all the bones in her body because Mary was a lot bigger then Fluttershy. Then she did it again! Mary broke the other half of the bones in her body!

"Great googly moogly!" was all Fluttershy got to say as Mary jumped up and down the chest of her.

She had injured Fluttershy the Maddeningly OOC Fur Trapper.

Now, Fluttershy was almost as upset as upset, as you could imagine. Though with all this idiocy I'm presenting to you, that's kinda hard. Anyways, she stood up. Realized she couldn't see. Yeah, it took that long for her to notice-

NOOO! AH CAN'T SEE! NOPE! ADICT!

Unfortunately for me, then, Mary grabbed a dog doo snowcone, freshly made with my own hooves, a stuffed in my right eye with a sickening splat! Then she did it with other eye, complete with it's own splat! And the doggy wee-wee- err, the husky wee-wee has blinded me! And I can't see!... Only temporarily, on the plus side.

So Fluttershy the Blind OOC Dirty Fur Trapper stood there for a moment, her wings fully erect because she didn't have any arms to spread. She was wondering to herself, "What can I do about my blind eye?"

It was at that precise moment when it came to her. Long ago, there was an ancient pony legend that stated, on whatever they had to write on back then, if your eye was blinded as result of being brought to justice by Mary, then, as a second punishment, you must go across the tundra, mile after mile... TRUDGING ACROSS THE TUNDRA, I say! Right down to the parish of St. Alphonso, formerly known as Cadence.

Hours later, Fluttershy arrived at St. Alphonso and stole all the margarine. Well, she didn't want any to confuse her for the condiment, now did she? But anything noble she did in an attempt to make up for her heinous crimes earlier were instantly negated when she not only wheedled on the Bingo cards, but also blew up the bathrooms that GLaDoS was attending to!

At that precise moment, I saw Discord make his entrance like a queen, acting totally chenille, followed by Rarity, the marine who survived that horrible pony war brought up that one time in Friendship Is Witchcraft.

So, after Discord entered, he immediately started using his magic to abuse the sausage patties.

"Why don't you treat me mean?!" Discord screamed at Rarity, who was helping Discord.

And that's what normally happens at St. Alphonso's Pancake Breakfast. Usually, there were more incidents involving the margarine, but it was all missing for some reason.

Meanwhile, in the back, Rainbow, also known as Mother Vivian O'Blivion was whipping up the batter. Bet you never knew she was a cook, eh? Well, she was, being all repentant to her frock, making pancakes for her flock of naturally gay mares.

However, she had forgot to watch the clock, because the night before, behind the door, Applejack, dressed up as a leprechaun, was stroking one of the many socks she had. She stroked it. It was setting her off in such a frenzy! She sang "Lock Around The Clock", off-key, of course.

So she topped it off with a... Um... Oh, dear, I've forgotten. So she stumbled on her [CENSORED].

For some reason, all the stroking Applejack had been doing made the top of the sock rip! But she was delighted, nonetheless.

"Oh, St. Alphonso would be proud of me!" Applejack sighed in delight. She fell on her back and went to sleep, being tired and all.

The sock then shot up the block.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders then popped up from out of nowhere, laughing their heads off and saying "Dominus vobiscum. Et cum spiritu tuo! Won't you eat my sleazy pancakes for Saintly Alphonso?!" before chanting "They're so light and fluffy white! We'll raise a fortune by tonight! They're so light and fluffy white! We'll raise a fortune by tonight! They're so light and fluffy and brown! They're the finest in the town! They're so light and fluffy and brown! They're the finest in the town!"

Then Twilight right out into the body, greeting Princess Celestia by saying, "Good morning, you highness!"

"I brought you your snowshoes!" sang a helpful choir from behind Twilight.

"Good morning, your highness!" Twilight greeted Luma this time.

"I brought you your snowshoes!" the choir sang again.

And that's all I have to say about that.

"... And that be-eth what I normally come across when it comes it dreams," finished a panting Luna. "Well, that be-eth a little stupid for our tastes, but y'know."

Nyx blinked and said, "Gee... That's... Kinda weird, all things considered. Is that really what Mary dreams about?"

"Of course it is, little me," Luna replied with a reassuring smile. "Would we doth lie about dreams to you?"

Now, Nyx was satisfied with that answer, as usual, but, as you would expect, that wasn't the case, for you see, that's what Plottie dreams about, those basically being the dreams Mary doesn't want. Now, what does Mary dream about? The world may never know... Unless you've heard "Cosmik Debris", which, in that case, oh...

"Will you tell me about the rabbits? What they dream about?" Nyx asked, being as hopefully as before hopeful.

"Maybe some other time," Luna answered. "We doth have-eth some other things to attend to, such as this story entitled _?!_."

"_?!_?" Nyx repeated.

"Yes and it doth be-eth unpronounceable," Luna confirmed.

"That's silly," Nyx laughed. "Why would anypony name a story a symbol?"

Luna chuckled at the thought, too, before looking up at the title and saying, "Shut up, Nyx. Now, as I was reading..."

So Luna got back to reading her book. However, as she was doing that, Nyx slipped out and made her way across PonyVille until she reached Fluttershy's cottage, where she started to chuckle evilly.

"Oh, Flutters," Nyx whispered to herself, starting to change form and become more full of holes. "You and I are gonna have some fun tonight."

**A/N: Well, that was a story. Hope you made some sense of it. Sincerely, bonum nocte et foruna.**


	2. Cosmik Debris

**A/N: Well, this story ain't going up on FIMFiction, so enjoy my attempt to adapt the rest of the album.**

**'  
****A piece for assorted lunatics by That Gamer!  
**"**Chapter" 2  
****Based off of _Apostrophe (')_ by Frank Zappa**

"Stupid Plottie..." Mary grumbled, using MAGICK to randomly knock over trash cans. "Stupid free will... She could've told me she was going to ditch me so that I could've stopped her..."

As you can probably read, Mary was upset. However, the reason why was different then normal. You see, Mary had been out with Plottie all day, messing with ponies the former didn't like, per usual. But at around 10 PM, Plottie got tired of it and decided to go "home", not bothering to tell Mary. Which explains why she didn't notice Plottie's absence until 10:27 PM, where she was telling to possess Rarity for about the fifteenth time. Realizing what was going on, Mary reluctantly decided to call it a hard day's night... All caught up? Good.

"The nerve... I just wanted her to screw Sweetie Belle..." Mary continued to rant herself.

"Hey, why you so upset?" called a voice, which Mary instantly recognized as Pinkie.

"I'm not telling you, Pinkie," Mary snapped. "Where are you, anyways?"

"Right beside you!" answered Pinkie happily.

Mary looked to her right and didn't even flinch at the sight Pinkie, though was slightly confused by the robe she was wearing.

"And my name's not Pinkie," the pink party pony continued. "I'm the Mystery Mare!"

"No, your name's Pinkie," Mary told Pinkie. "I'm not playing your stupid games. I just wanna go home..."

"You look awful upset," Pinkie noted. "Something must be wrong. I mean, why wouldn't something be wrong? Why would you look so angry otherwise? Unless this is all an act! Ooo! Are they shooting a documentary on you? Am I gonna be on film? And to think I didn't have myself all set up! Is it even showing my-"

"SHUT UP!" Mary exclaimed. "I'm not doing whatever you're saying! I just wanna go home and be alone!"

Of course, Pinkie looked a little concern, but was snapped out of it very quickly. "But don't you know? I'm out of sight! And, if you want, you can reach Nervanna tonight!"

"...Nervanna?" Mary repeated, stopping in her tracks. "You mean _nirvana_, don't you?"

"No, silly, they disbanded years ago!" Pinkie laughed.

"That's not what I..." Mary groaned part way through her sentence, probably because she knew how useless to argue. Sure, she could use her OC Alicorn powers to easily get out of this, but she...

"It's just a small fee," Pinkie offered with a grin. "A nominal charge, if you will. But, if you do take it, just make sure you're ready, willing and able! 'Cause, if you're not, then you're gonna be in some major trouble! In other case, however, you can go ahead and do whatever you want, because, you pay and my entire attention shall be devoted to you... Well, at least half, since Twilight says I can't pay attention to a whole lot of things- say, have you seen Twilight today? She nailed herself to the ceiling! I helped her, but isn't that weird? Why would she want to do that? Maybe for an experiment or something, but-"

"Pinkie!" Mary shouted.

"Mmm... Yes?"

"Look here, Pinkie," Mary said, pointing a hoof at her. "Who the buck are you trying to jive with that cosmik debris of yours?"

"You, I think," Pinkie answered.

"Just don't you waste your time on me," Mary said, starting to walk off, but getting stopped by Pinkie, who seemed a little nervous. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm so hyper!" Pinkie yelled. She fidget around a bit and continued, "Haven't had a piece of sugar since two minutes ago!" Then she reached into the pocket of her mystery robe and whipped out a shaving kit. "Y'know what this is?"

"A shaving kit," Mary answered in a very deadpanned way. "What else could it be? And why do you have it? You don't need to shave! You have no use for a razor and that foaming goo stuff! Faust, you're stupid!"

"Actually, it's nothing my box won't do," Pinkie corrected Mary, the top popping off on its own.

"Pinkie, I'm not taking your stupid drugs!" Mary snapped, storming off. "Leave me alone!"

"But I got the oil from this place called Aphrodite!" Pinkie told Mary, going after her. "And the dust of the Grand Wazoo! Got it from Continuity and Concepts, those guys who hang out near the carrot stand!"

"Pinkie, for the second time, who the buck are you jiving with that cosmik debris?" Mary demanded.

Pinkie thought about it for a second, but before she could answer, Mary had some more stuff to say.

"I got problems far worse then you could ever imagine," Mary continued, tinting it lightly with a hateful tone.

"Like having your imaginary friend run away from you?"

"Exactly!" Mary shouted. "So take your medications and your preparations and shove them up your-"

"Snout?" Pinkie interrupted.

"...Sure! Whatever!" Mary tried to go faster then, but Pinkie managed to keep up.

"But I got a crystal ball!" Pinkie told Mary.

"A crystal ball?" Mary repeated, stopping dead in her tracks. "Damn it, Pinkie, didn't you give up that gypsy stuff?"

"Nope!" Pinkie smiled and held it up to the light. "It's still as shiny as when I bought it!"

"What kind of a guru are you, anyways?" Mary inquired.

"A real good one!" Pinkie replied. She pulled out a rag then and started waxing her ball of crystal.

It was at this point when Mary officially had enough. She used her MAGICK to grab the crystal ball all away from her.

"Let me show you how to do it right..." Mary muttered, looking the ball over.

Pinkie clapped her hooves together and said, "Ooo! I'd like to see that!"

Mary nodded and mumbled. She dashed off into an alleyway and returned moments later with newspaper around her head like a turban. She held it in front of Pinkie, distracting her with the shine so that Mary could charge up her horn.

"Incrassatum est National Morbi id quod fuerit fortasse non optimum index quam bene agimus nihil refert," Mary muttered, eyes closed to further distract Pinkie from the MAGICK she was using, "quia ut societas nostra Qualitas de victus..."

Of course, Pinkie was fascinated by Mary's presentation, but she suddenly felt really tired and, in a few moments later, she fell asleep.

"It worked!" Mary exclaimed, laughing manically. "...I mean, I knew it would, but this is great!"

Taking advantage of this moment, Mary went over Pinkie, taking every object that could be sold off of her and poofing it back to her house. Pinkie didn't care, seeing as how she was hypnotized and all. Now, she was going run away right then with all the booty she had gotten, but, because she was bored or something, she decided to tell Pinkie her "future", not that she could hear it.

"The price of meat has just gone up..." Mary said, thinking quickly about it. "And your old lady has just gone down! Hah! Now who are you jiving with that cosmik debris?!" She laughed again and suddenly caught a whiff of how Pinkie smelt. "Ugh!... Is that a real poncho or a Sears poncho?"

"Can't tell," answered Pinkie in a monotone voice.

"Well, let me tell you something..." Mary put her face close to Pinkie's and said, "You can make more money as a butcher then just randomly killing ponies. Though I assume they're the same thing... Look, just don't waste your time on."

"Gee, that be-eth kind of rude," Luna commented.

"I did what I had to do," Mary grunted. Then one second later... "LUNA! THE BUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"We doth dream walk," Luna explained. "We doth noticed some strange things going on here, but they seem-eth to have resolved themselves."

"YOU CAN'T JUST ENTER MY DREAMS!" Mary screamed "THEY'RE MINE! STAY THE BUCK OUT!"

"Geez, alright, we art leaving," Luna muttered, trotting off to the left. "Besides, Twilight doth need-eth our help. She seems to be-eth having nightmares about _Equestria Girls_..."

"...DAMN IT!"

"DAMN IT, LUNA!" Mary yelled, waking up. "DAMN IT! BUCK! BUCK! BUCK!"

"What is it this time, Mary?" Plottie groaned.

"LUNA! SHE'S IN MY BUCKING DREAMS!" Mary growled, slamming her bed.

"So? She does that to everypony..." Plottie told her master in a groggy manner. "Geez, what time is it? Three in the morning?"

"It's only been an hour," Mary muttered angrily, crossing her forehooves. "Faust... Tomorrow, I'm going to demanded that she stop."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever..." was the last thing Plottie said, unless you count snoring.

"Oh, I'm going to!" Mary exclaimed, Plottie groaning and covering her head with the very sparse newspaper Mary gave her. "Tomorrow, I'm going to give Luna a piece of my mind!" She then fell back to sleep quickly, but then woke up and added, "And you're coming with me!"

"Oh yippie skippie."

"SHUT THE BUCK UP, NYX!"

**A/N: And I bought _Joe's Garage: Acts I, II & III_ today. Bonum nocte et fortuna.**


End file.
